shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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