it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
