She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
FUCK WHALES
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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