So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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