I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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