So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
