True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
