She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
