is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
