Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
