you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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