You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
