There is no way he is gay with that hair.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
