forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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