I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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