I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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