I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
