so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
