He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
