i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
