he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You were trust falling into bushes
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
