there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
