Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
