We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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