I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
