i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
