The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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