ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
