Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
