If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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