Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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