i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Will exercising make me less horny?
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