so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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