i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
