I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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