Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
