is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
