I cannot find my penis.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
