i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
