do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
