TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
