I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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