you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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