we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
