she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
