Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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