Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
