And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
