ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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