i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
